my daugher saved my life..

I don't know what I would do or where I would be without my little girl mackenzie alyzabeth..she saved my life.

Being pregnant with her was the most amazing experience..feeling her little movements and kicks, were the moments that I not only lived for but that I cherished the most.  Its amazing how fast that the time seems to go by, especially throughout the pregnancy, it was like only yesterday i found out that i was expecting. Pregnancy has had its share of ups and downs, but thats what has made it so exciting for us. Knowing that we have that miracle that we created and it made it through the tough times when they told us we had lost her, and she pulled through it all even when we had lost the other. I do sometimes think about that, the fact that we had originally had 2 and it gets me down because, my body couldnt handle it. But i remember what I have, and how much of a miracle mackenzie is to me in my life. I have learned that you cannot dwell on what you have lost, for you are missing everything great that is going on now in the present.
Not only was my little girl the greatest gift to me, but she is my hero, and saved my life.  About a month after she was born I was having some problems breathing, swallowing, and was constantly so tired.  I felt like a horrible mother because, I had a beautiful little girl who needed me the most and I wasn't able to do everything 100%.  About a week later I had gone to the doctors to get some tests done, and heard the words no person would want to hear.. "cancer''.  I was diagnosed with an aggressive form of thyroid cancer, and I needed to start having surgery and my first round of electro iodine radiation treatment.  However, because Mackenzie was so young I waited about a 2 months so I could not only breastfeed, but pump enough to preserve that way she would get the nurtrients that she needed.
Being diagnosed with cancer, is one of the hardest thing any person endures, the treatments, the physical, emotional, and mental toll wears on you more than anything. You constantly look for the little things to take your mind off it in hopes that its just a dream and you'll wake up and be ok..but then reality hits you all over again.  Sometimes I wish this never happened to me, I mean who doesn't. But the cancer not only has made me a better person/mother because I cherish the little things, and I no longer take life for granted, but it has made me stronger person, and has given me this bond with my little girl that no one can understand.  She is my hero, she saved my life and with that I owe her the world, and pray nothing like this ever happens to her.